Where do I begin? At the beginning? The beginning of what? Ok. There was this sperm and at the precise timing penetrated an egg. Puff! Me! Or is there a beginning even before the sperm went on its mission? I had to be a thought. The thought might have been disguised as “wanting sex” from my parents. But somehow, someway, my desire to Be orchestrated the perfect timing of all involved for the creation of me! Wow! I must be important.
To realize my importance, I had to first acknowledge my feelings of unimportance. To know I am supported, I had to feel aloneness. In other words, I had to see the unme to know me who isn’t me at all, to know I AM.
This may sound like some neurotic woman trying to figure out the purpose of her existence, however, it is about the story of a woman, me, who loves life so much she wants to bathe in the intimacy of existence. A woman who sees life quite differently than most. Always questioning, pondering, and contemplating the magical and mystical process of life. I always felt there was more to life than what was being presented to me by my family, religion, and society. If I was so important to pop into existence; existence must have a place for me. The desire to have meaning and enjoyment in life is strong within us all. Desire is what brought me into this life. Desire is what directs me to grow and expand into the Becoming of who I am. Desire always wants to experience That from which it comes— but what and where is That?
I had a dream one night. The dream was about a sperm, yes, a sperm, and it was so determined to swim up the canal— nothing could stop it. All the odds were against it. I felt the sperm’s strong desire to complete its mission to reach the egg. The moment the sperm penetrated the egg, a flash of lightening occurred within my mind’s eye; all became a bright white light and revealed the spark of creation. And at that precise moment, the dream was more than a dream: Exposing an interpretation of insight into the mystical, conscious evolution of life. I suddenly woke up, figuratively and literally, at three o’clock in the morning and started writing. I never wrote before this day, other than poetry; but the impulse was so strong, the determination was so forceful, I had to move with it without question. The force was larger than me and even if I wanted to, I could not redirect the force. It picked me up and I was now moving and riding with the Current.
Now here is a strange thought; I guess I became a sperm with a strong determination of desire to complete a personal mission. A mission, not sure of what it was; but it felt like the all the forces of the Universe were with me and cheering me on. To others it may have looked like I had a strong drive to write; but honestly, the Drive had me. I had no time to think or change direction— I was swept away.
Thus, I began writing like a mad woman. A sperm moved me, unbelievable, a realm I would have never have thought would inspire me. I know being a sperm may not sound very appealing; however, we all share more with the sperm that we would like to admit. The force of what is directing and pushing those little swimmers, is the same force that directs the desire for life, the force and intelligence behind all of creation. And at three o’clock in the morning, it was the same force that was directing me. I have a completely new respect for sperms now. Let’s be perfectly clear: I absolutely have no desire for any sperms swimming up my canal, but what they represent and taught me is invaluable. You never know what form your teacher or guru will appear to you— Stay open.
If you allow the Flow of Spirit; the Current will take you on quite a ride of synchronistic excitement and joy. If you ignore or resist, you are paddling against the Current. Eventually you will become exhausted and create a reality manifesting in physical, emotional, and/or spiritual discomfort. When you set the conditions through love, inspiration, desire, belief and focus, and allow the movement of Source or Current to direct you, your True Essence is found; your purpose is found. The Buddhists and Hindus call it living your dharma, moving with the Rtu: the cosmic order or flow that makes life and the universe possible. Moving with the Rtu, is the simplicity underlying the complexity of life —revealing the only decision that every has to be made, is the decision to move with the Flow of Current or not.
Hey, I like this. I was never one to work too hard anyway. All those times when teachers said I was lazy, little did they know that I was riding the Current as I was chewing my gum, twirling my hair around my finger and looking out the window…dreaming.
Turning your attention to the Current
All falls in place and the choice to ride the waves of freedom are within every moment
-excerpt from The Ultimate Story: The Mystical Evolution of Our Life – (Launch date: 2021)
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